Still waking up…

By Brad

“What I’m trying to get you to do is to relax” -Jesus

We have 2 dogs. Brodie is a “larger” beagle and Truman is a “shih-poo”. A couple of weeks ago I’m in the house…walked into the bedroom and both dogs are on the bed looking for affection. (A little background on the dogs. Brodie…very compassionate…very cuddly. Truman…fiery…inferiority complex. You get the picture.) I begin patting Brodie. With my other hand I start patting Truman. Both hands patting each individual dog. Perfect, right? They can be content, relax, all that, right? Not so much. Brodie is looking at Truman being patted and wanting that. Truman is looking at Brodie being patted and wanting that. Crazy. Both of them are not fully aware of the affection they’re getting…see the other’s “affectious” moment…want that to happen. My friend, Paul Fitzgerald would say “How does that mirror your life?”

How much energy do we spend seeking a love, a worth, that we already have but don’t see?

How many unhealthy roads have we gone down because we didn’t know we were loved as we are, where we are?

What does it look like to really relax?

Jill’s drive, to her knowledge, has always been there. There are signs stating otherwise though. The constant late hours at work. The restless nights. The lack of laughter. The lack of fun….of joy. The lack of meaningful relationships. She would say she has no time for these things. But maybe…maybe, it’s because she knows the road that’s ahead if she begins to “give” time there…the dominoes fall. “I, at least, appear to have everything together now.” Is that what life is really about? Impression management? Those questions lurk just beneath the surface. Where do they lead? “I can’t manage that!” Really lonely places. Her father’s voice “Get yourself together” whispers in the muddled distance within. On and on and on. What does it look like to relax here? Not the “ignore everything and pretend to relax” relax, but….breathe deep….relax…in the depths of your heart….relaxed. Free…easy….loved…enough….knowing who you are.

Listen to me, you are loved by love itself. The God (Papa, Son, Spirit) that is love has always loved you, will always love you, and you can take that to the bank. There’s nothing…nothing you can do to change that. If you let that root deep inside and let the light of that dive deep in the dark places, then you can live relaxed. Peaceful. It’s a tough journey, I don’t think any of us ever really complete the journey per se in this life, but it’s learning to live relaxed in love, by love, with the heart of love within. It’s shining the light on the “impression management” model and knowing that “love” that has to be bought is really no love at all. You lose your soul in the price…in the sell.

“What does it profit a man to gain all the world offers and forfeit who he essentially is?” -Jesus

It sounds so simple to say “I am loved by Love”. It can seem trite. But it’s a treasure that has to be taken to the depths of our abyss. To the lies of our darkness. To the pain and unfinished business of our lives. To the sunken ships that we’ve tried to convince ourselves are inconsequential and don’t affect us. That’s where light shines brightest. That’s where love beats loudest. That’s where life comes truly alive and awakening happens. So be it!

“I was right there at the top of the bottom
On the edge of the known universe where I wanted to be
I had driven to the scene of the accident
And I sat there waiting for me

Restart and re-boot yourself
You’re free to go
Oh, oh
Shout for joy if you get the chance
Password, you, enter here, right now

Oh, oh
You know your name so punch it in
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Oh, oh
Then don’t move or say a thing.”
-U2 “Unknown Caller“